Pantie-less

Dear bloggers,

I don't have any pictures today because what I have chosen to briefly write about is slightly disgusting. Yesterday (I hope!), Tim's cat threw up. I'm guessing it was a hair ball of some sorts; I didn't inspect it! AND I'm guessing it was from yesterday (crossing my fingers!). I spent 4 hours cleaning our house when I noticed this ugly spot on the carpet that I knew wasn't from our dogs. On top of the table, close to where this lovely occurrence took place, is a bowl of random napkins from Little Ceaser's Pizza. Now ladies, hopefully we all are very aware of napkins not being a heavy duty cleaning tool and when scrubbed harshly into a damp carpet (Resolve mixed with hair ball...yum!), the end result is crumbles of what use to be a napkin with a chubby Greek man on it.

Yes, you guessed it! Tim decided to clean his lovely cat's hairball up with the Little Ceaser's napkins which then became a mush (sp?)/moosh (sp?) of hair ball and napkin crumbles. Yuck! When I noticed he did that, I said my normal phrase I say to Tim,"Seriously?? Who does that?"

Followed by a"Everyone should know that napkins aren't durable, especially when cleaning up a mess like this!"

His response: "It's clean enough right? Do you see the hairball anymore? Don't get mad at me! I'm just trying to help."

My response: "Tim, there are now napkin crumbles embedded in the carpet that I just cleaned." (Note: I like how I completely disregarded in this statement that the cat threw up! I've been around Tim too long!)

I give him props for helping, trying, attempting, etc. He is currently in training...I'll keep you guys posted on how well it turns out!

On a side note: Tim's dog Fritz (who is a male <---in case you were wondering), ate a pair of my pretty black panties this weekend. Yes ate! AND he threw a piece of it up in his dog kennel. He's in training too...when are guys going to learn they can't always get into a girls panties! And when am I going to escape this 'throwing up' phase my household pets are going through! Hopefully, I'll be getting a couple pairs of Victoria Secrets garments from Tim for my troubles. HAHA : ] Kidding MOTHER!



Enjoy the rest of the blog...

So my lovely mother sent me an e-mail with this in it after she read my blog. Although it's semi-harsh in parts with some not so good choice of words...It's funny. So get over it, read it, enjoy it, and freaking laugh a little because it's Monday and I hate Mondays!

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart, and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks,
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash won't be annoyed,
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more,
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'How big is my behind?',
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute
gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t
The End.


PS-Whatever woman wrote this poem...had obviously not been in a relationship with a Man's Man. Or maybe any man for that matter. If something out there exists like that let the cat out of the bag...there are women in need out in this world! AND I'm glad I have NOT come close to even being around a guy who thinks like that...I mean I think I'd punch him! I'd choose losing my whole kitchen of forks over that any day!


Yours truly,

The girl with one less pair of panties (why am I always the one who is 'one less" something??)

Megan